Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Quotes : 158

English


Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

By : Ambrose Bierce

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