Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial.. view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age... view

By: Ambrose Bierce

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel... view

By: Ambrose Bierce