Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial.. view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel... view
By: Ambrose Bierce
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