Doug Coupland Quotes

If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal... view

By: Doug Coupland

If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?.. view

By: Doug Coupland

If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis... view

By: Doug Coupland

If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?.. view

By: Doug Coupland

If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it... view

By: Doug Coupland

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us... view

By: Doug Coupland

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive... view

By: Doug Coupland

If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil... view

By: Doug Coupland

On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen... view

By: Doug Coupland

If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window... view

By: Doug Coupland

In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich... view

By: Doug Coupland

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure... view

By: Doug Coupland

I've got 911 on speed dial... view

By: Doug Coupland

I want pills called September 10. You take one and your mind feels like the 11th never happened... view

By: Doug Coupland

I think the killers get far too much attention... view

By: Doug Coupland

I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'.. view

By: Doug Coupland

I like doing radio because it's so intimate. The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads, not only that, you're in there laying eggs... view

By: Doug Coupland

I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock... view

By: Doug Coupland

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween... view

By: Doug Coupland

Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation... view

By: Doug Coupland

Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long... view

By: Doug Coupland

New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108... view

By: Doug Coupland

Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away... view

By: Doug Coupland

Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair... view

By: Doug Coupland

Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries... view

By: Doug Coupland

Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives.. view

By: Doug Coupland

Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long... view

By: Doug Coupland

If your life had lyrics, would they be any good?.. view

By: Doug Coupland

Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you... view

By: Doug Coupland

In our heads we're all about 33 years old... view

By: Doug Coupland

Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin... view

By: Doug Coupland

Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want... view

By: Doug Coupland

It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count... view

By: Doug Coupland

It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations... view

By: Doug Coupland

It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you... view

By: Doug Coupland

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either... view

By: Doug Coupland

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?.. view

By: Doug Coupland

Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing... view

By: Doug Coupland

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky... view

By: Doug Coupland

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them... view

By: Doug Coupland

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo... view

By: Doug Coupland

Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking... view

By: Doug Coupland