Johnny Vegas Quotes

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in... view

By: Johnny Vegas

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day... view

By: Johnny Vegas

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with... view

By: Johnny Vegas

There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out... view

By: Johnny Vegas

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear... view

By: Johnny Vegas

There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough... view

By: Johnny Vegas

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute... view

By: Johnny Vegas

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian... view

By: Johnny Vegas

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves... view

By: Johnny Vegas

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases... view

By: Johnny Vegas

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that... view

By: Johnny Vegas

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led... view

By: Johnny Vegas

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle... view

By: Johnny Vegas

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out... view

By: Johnny Vegas

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs... view

By: Johnny Vegas

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason... view

By: Johnny Vegas

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!.. view

By: Johnny Vegas

I actually enjoy being heckled.. view

By: Johnny Vegas

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I use very few muscles at the best of times... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one... view

By: Johnny Vegas

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it... view

By: Johnny Vegas

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia... view

By: Johnny Vegas