Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written... view

By: Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been... view

By: Mark Twain

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus... view

By: Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect... view

By: Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old... view

By: Mark Twain

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?.. view

By: Mark Twain

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved... view

By: Mark Twain

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt... view

By: Mark Twain

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul... view

By: Mark Twain

Better a broken promise than none at all... view

By: Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint... view

By: Mark Twain

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do... view

By: Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire.. view

By: Mark Twain

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation... view

By: Mark Twain

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense... view

By: Mark Twain

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided... view

By: Mark Twain

Buy land, they're not making it anymore... view

By: Mark Twain

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape... view

By: Mark Twain

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie... view

By: Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life... view

By: Mark Twain

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven... view

By: Mark Twain

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable... view

By: Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children... view

By: Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example... view

By: Mark Twain

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned... view

By: Mark Twain

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it... view

By: Mark Twain

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it... view

By: Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please... view

By: Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times... view

By: Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company... view

By: Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board... view

By: Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled... view

By: Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person... view

By: Mark Twain

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't... view

By: Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval... view

By: Mark Twain

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand... view

By: Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter... view

By: Mark Twain

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure... view

By: Mark Twain

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured... view

By: Mark Twain

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary... view

By: Mark Twain

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold... view

By: Mark Twain

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake... view

By: Mark Twain