What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before... view

By: Mark Twain

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself... view

By: Mark Twain

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin... view

By: Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce... view

By: Mark Twain

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people... view

By: Mark Twain

When angry, count to four.. view

By: Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not... view

By: Mark Twain

When in doubt tell the truth... view

By: Mark Twain

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended.. view

By: Mark Twain

When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn... view

By: Mark Twain

We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world... view

By: Mark Twain

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain... view

By: Mark Twain

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so... view

By: Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained... view

By: Mark Twain

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress... view

By: Mark Twain

There are lies, damned lies and statistics... view

By: Mark Twain

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy... view

By: Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice... view

By: Mark Twain

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it... view

By: Mark Twain

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable... view

By: Mark Twain

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody... view

By: Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist... view

By: Mark Twain

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others... view

By: Mark Twain

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer... view

By: Mark Twain

To be good is noble.. view

By: Mark Twain

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal... view

By: Mark Twain

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence... view

By: Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities.. view

By: Mark Twain

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive.. view

By: Mark Twain

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce... view

By: Mark Twain

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... view

By: Mark Twain

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough... view

By: Mark Twain

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time... view

By: Mark Twain

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word... view

By: Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug... view

By: Mark Twain

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes... view

By: Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up... view

By: Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress.. view

By: Mark Twain

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat... view

By: Mark Twain

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very".. view

By: Mark Twain

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run... view

By: Mark Twain

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late... view

By: Mark Twain