Ogden Nash Quotes

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up... view

By: Ogden Nash

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it... view

By: Ogden Nash

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore... view

By: Ogden Nash

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence... view

By: Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else... view

By: Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them... view

By: Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares.. view

By: Ogden Nash

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work... view

By: Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it.. view

By: Ogden Nash

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor... view

By: Ogden Nash

Women would rather be right than reasonable... view

By: Ogden Nash

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long... view

By: Ogden Nash

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind... view

By: Ogden Nash

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them... view

By: Ogden Nash

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret.. view

By: Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk.. view

By: Ogden Nash

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control... view

By: Ogden Nash

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin... view

By: Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat... view

By: Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all... view

By: Ogden Nash

Too clever is dumb... view

By: Ogden Nash

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance... view

By: Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you... view

By: Ogden Nash

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends... view

By: Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold... view

By: Ogden Nash

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all... view

By: Ogden Nash

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of... view

By: Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker... view

By: Ogden Nash

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?.. view

By: Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for... view

By: Ogden Nash

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you... view

By: Ogden Nash

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?.. view

By: Ogden Nash

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of... view

By: Ogden Nash

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it... view

By: Ogden Nash

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?.. view

By: Ogden Nash

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch... view

By: Ogden Nash

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine... view

By: Ogden Nash

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons... view

By: Ogden Nash

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm... view

By: Ogden Nash

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers... view

By: Ogden Nash

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is... view

By: Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive... view

By: Ogden Nash