McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had... view

By: Jon Stewart

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I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food... view

By: Jon Stewart

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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character... view

By: Jon Stewart

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I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor... view

By: Jon Stewart

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You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things... view

By: Jon Stewart

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Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is... view

By: Jon Stewart

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I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days... view

By: Jon Stewart

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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news... view

By: Jon Stewart

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There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!.. view

By: Jon Stewart

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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is... view

By: Jon Stewart

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I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'.. view

By: Jon Stewart

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