The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

By : Mark Twain

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

By : Mark Twain

Let us not be too particular

By : Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

By : Mark Twain

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

By : Mark Twain

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

By : Mark Twain

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

By : Mark Twain

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

By : Mark Twain

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

By : Mark Twain

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

By : Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

By : Mark Twain

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

By : Mark Twain